Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Five Sure-Fire Ways to Get Your Ass Kicked in a Biker Bar.

5.) Toss the keys to your Prius at the bouncer and admonish, "Now you be careful with Daddy's toy!"

4.) Instruct the bartender to, "Be a good fellow and fetch me the wine list...and while you're at would you mind switching the channel to the Bravo Network?"

3.) Slowly stir your drink, tear at your cocktail napkin, and between sobs pout, "What's a brother gotta do to get a hug around here?"

2.) Proudly show off your t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan, "Free Mustache Rides".

1.) Laugh at your beer-drinking buddy, toss your head back and loudly proclaim: "I'm reminded of what Oscar Wilde once said..."

I invite your suggestions...

10 comments:

Mark said...

Demonstrate your flower-arranging prowess.

Mat Garretson said...

Inquire with management as to when the open mike poetry slam starts.

david said...

Comment on how the Chaps accentuate their bottoms.

Mat Garretson said...

Turn your cell phone ringer to the loudest setting, so when friends call patrons hear, "It's raining men!"

Saul said...

Walk into the room in a nurse's uniform?
http://thatssick.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-forget-its-nurses-week.html

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Anonymous said...

While using ur bong..lol..ha ha he he they are comming to take me away...ahhaayaa

Anonymous said...

Yes please due share, young chap, for I am but a native of Neverlandherewithoutgear and pray u am niev to such practices...

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