Scary Movie.

So there I was a few nights ago, at home, watching the movie, "The Bounty". Remember this one? I hadn't seen this since it came out in 1984, and I have to say it's aged remarkably well. If you discount the Vangelis score (still hot from his 1981 "Chariots of Fire" soundtrack), there's a certain timelessness to this movie. It stars Mel Gibson and Anthony Hopkins, and has a great supporting cast that includes cinematic royalty (Sir Lawrence Olivier), soon-to-be box office boy toys (Liam Neeson and Daniel Day-Lewis), and a one-hit wonder (Tevaite Vernette).

"Mat," I can hear you saying, "who in the hell is Tevaite Vernette?" Ms. Vernette, dear reader, plays Mauatua, Fletcher Christian/Mel Gibson's love interest. Tahitian born and bred (and, I learned recently, still residing), she nailed the part of a native...probably because she was/is a Tahitian native. That and the fact that she apparently doesn't mind getting naked in front of a camera. Director Dino de Laurentis' folks discovered her on location, and cast her in the part. The movie database imdb lists "The Bounty" as her sole credit of her cinematic career.

Now I will freely admit that when the movie came out I was attracted to this young Tahitian lass. But with benefit of hindsight I can say that it wasn't so much that I thought she was cute in as much the fact that, when the movie came out, I was in my early twenties. That meant my, um, interest was held by any female who cavorted around semi-clothed...on-screen or off.

24 years later - my gawd! twenty four years! - and I did find that when watching "The Bounty" I was again drawn to Tevaite Vernette. Watching her though I found that my interest wasn't at all carnal. Rather, in watching her on screen, I was left with a nagging feeling that I had seen her somewhere else. I was a good two-thirds into the movie when it finally dawned on me: "Ohmigawd, she looks just like Tiger Woods, but with breasts!"

While the internet boasts scores of photos of Tiger, there are precious few photos to be found of Tevaite Vernette...less than 15, actually. This photo to the left is the best image I was able to find of her.

Compare this photo to this one of Tiger:

Again, the photo of Ms. Vernette is of poor quality, but I think you will see what I mean. They're awfully similar looking people.

If you happen to have photos of Tevaite Vernette (I also learned from the internet that she was featured in Playboy back around the release of "The Bounty"), send them my way. I'll add them to this post. Baring that, check out "The Bounty" next time it's on TV...and check out Tevaite. And then tell me that she doesn't look like Tiger Woods after a Renée Richards-like procedure.

It's creepy how much she looks like Tiger. Makes me wonder how her short game is?

And, hey, while you're putting around the internet, check out humor-blogs.com!"