First There Was the Clam Plate Orgy. And Now...

This just into our "if you ever doubted that some born again Christians really need to get laid" department: it appears that a man down in San Diego is getting a little extra, uh, stimulation every time he drops into his neighborhood Starbuck's.

The source of his new-found arousal? This newly-introduced Starbuck's logo which you see above.

I know. She's hot, isn't she? Of course she is...it's coffee, after all. But apparently your latté is also slut-tay in the eyes of one Mark Dice.

Mr. Dice, founder of a quaint little self-proclaimed Christian group called The Resistance sees "...a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute..." Uh-huh. And you would know how a spread-legged prostitute looks like how? If this logo 'piques his interest', how much you want to bet that Mark Dice takes matters into his own hands every time he watches the movie, Splash?

"Need I say more?" Dice asks...and then answers his own question with a resounding yes. "It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves Slutbucks." Dice is calling for a boycott of Starbucks. Appears he doesn't see this coffee cup half-full...he sees it in dire need of two cups, size double D. This guy obviously isn't getting any...and it's altering his view of the world.

But seeing things that aren't really there goes hand in glove when you're Mark Dice (and, yes, that's really him pictured right). After surfing around his website I found that he also subscribes to some amazingly idiotic conspiracy theories; most notably, that 9/11 was an inside job. Dice is also convinced that many of the military bases around the U.S. harbor concentration camps.

It also seems that everywhere he looks he sees the devil. He holds that a majority of the world's political leaders are part of a secret satanic group, and that attendees of the Californian conservative retreat Bohemian Grove, members of Yale's Skull and Bones, Freemasons and Mormons are all really secret Satanists. He even thinks that the layout of streets in Washington DC were influenced by the bifurcated tongued one.

Okay, he might be onto something when it comes to Mormons.

If you believe what's written on his website (and you'd be a complete idiot if you did), Mark Dice isn't even Mark Dice...his website lists him as the man "formerly known as John Conner". Oh, I get it! John Conner, like John Connor, the fictional character in The Terminator? It's this character who becomes the leader of the future human rebellion against the cyborgs, thereby necessitating Arnold Schwarzenegger to perform some truly bad acting. Wow, Mark. That's deep. Judging by the way you dress, I'm also betting that you'll soon be hatching some theories based on The Matrix next. Guess this what happens when you allow an impressionable youth too much time in front of a movie/TV screen.

I call him a 'youth' because Mark's MySpace site lists him as 30 years old. Amazing. It only took him 30 years to become a complete and total nut job. Good on ya, Mark! At the rate you're going, in five more years you'll be old enough to run your very own religious cult.

Next stop Waco!

Mark Dice has a devil of a time believing that humor-blogs.com isn't sinful.