M*A*S*H Up.

My two boys, Jack and Thom have found a favorite new program on TV. And, no, it's not Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron or (thank Gawd!) Jackass.

It's M*A*S*H.

That's right. M*A*S*H. That (sometimes) lovable CBS sitcom that ran from 1972 until 1983. My boys love the humor...from the dry and caustic to the slapstick and predictable, this show hits their funny bones. And to them that Sargent in drag, Emil "Max" Klinger*, is one of the greatest comedic geniuses of all time. I can let their error in judgement slide because Harpo Marx (my all time favorite comic) is on their short lists, too.

One evening as we caught a re-run of M*A*S*H, I mentioned to the boys that the exterior camp shots were filmed in Malibu Canyon, less than three hours' drive south of us. "Could we go visit it, Dad?" they asked. When I mentioned that the site was now a state park, and that we could hike a trail into the old site, they both got very excited by the prospect.

So it was that when Amie and I decided that yesterday would be a "Boys Day", I immediately thought, 'why not go to Malibu?' The drive there and back would be relatively painless, and full of a lot time for those boy's-only stories (which, as a point of clarification for those of you without boys, are like your typical child-like stories, but more often than not include gratuitous mention of blood and/or poop). The day's activities also ensured that I could get the boys to hike nearly 10 miles without them thinking for a moment that their daddy was trying to get them to exercise. Both Jack and Thom were excited by the proposition of seeing the setting, so at 8am yesterday we loaded up my car, and headed south.

Getting out to the site involves a hike of about 2.5 miles. Most of its fairly easy, and well-marked. That is it's well-marked up until the last half mile of it. It's there that the trail gets vague. The path is very narrow, mostly along a dry riverbed, and there are no longer clear signs pointing you in the right direction. Luckily for us there were a number of folks scattered along the trail - oddly, the overwhelming majority of which were Asian - one of whom happened to have a map of the park. Armed with these fresh directions, we headed off to our destination.

I have to be report that when you finally get to the destination, it is a bit anticlimactic. There's not much out there...just two rusted out Army vehicles, and what remains of the ridge which served as the helicopter landing pad. But taking in the surrounding landscape it quickly becomes very familiar...that is to anyone who watched the show. And who of us living in America in the late Seventies didn't watch M*A*S*H?

After about 30 minutes of the boys crawling all over the trucks while I looked around to get my M*A*S*H bearings, we headed back to where we had started. The kids were a bit disappointed by what they found at the trail's end...but I had prepared them to keep expectations low, and overall they were glad to have made the trek.

It was as we were hiking back that we suddenly we heard the "whoop-whoop" sounds of a very low-flying helicopter. That certainly got me and the boys excited, and while we couldn't see it, it was obvious that this 'chopper was very close by, and getting ready to land. "Do you think that helicopter has some of the M*A*S*H actors in it, dad?" Thom asked. "Probably not, son...more than likely someone's done something stupid, and needs help." We ran as quickly as we could down the trail, and entered a clearing just in time to see the helicopter take off and head south.

As we walked toward the landing area we were met by nearly 20 sheriff's deputies and paramedics. Seems my prediction was, sadly, closer to the point than Thom's. "Is everyone alright?" I asked one of the sheriffs. "Not really," was his vague reply. We learned from one of the other team members that a man had just drowned in the park's lake. It appears that this man decided to take a swing on a tree rope over the lake...but forgot one thing: he did not know how to swim. The divers on the helicopter found the man at the bottom of the lake. "Not a safe choice, huh dad?" was Jack's take on things. As usual, Jack gets to the heart of the matter.

After saying a prayer for the man and his family, we trekked back towards the parking lot, and dropped into the Visitors Center, which is staffed by pleasant - and very well-informed - docents. Turns out that this park started out as a fairly exclusive country club whose members enjoyed fishing, hunting and getting away from LA (don't I know that feeling). Then 20th Century Fox purchased the whole 20,000 acres, and used it for decades to substitute for such exotic locations as China (The Sand Pebbles) to futuristic Earth (various Planet of the Apes' movies), to whitebread America (Pleasantville). They donated the land to the state of California, with the proviso that they could film there when they wanted to.

All in all a very enjoyable day for the Garretson boys...and a hard lesson learned in keeping things safe. If you should find yourself in the Malibu area, I'd suggest hiking in the Malibu Creek State Park. The scenery is beautiful, and the hike is a great way to spend the day.


*Quick! Where did the name "Sargent Emil Klinger" come from? If you guessed the 1959 movie North by Northwest, give yourself a Hershey Bar. Or a pair of nylons.

Okay, so this post wasn't exactly 'funny'. But I never said all my posts would be. If it's funny you're looking for, go check out humor-blogs.com.