I was driving home with my two boys yesterday. When the three of us are alone, it's "Boy's Time". This means I allow them a little leeway when it comes to manners, tact and good taste. They will occassionally swear...words like 'poopy' or 'booger'. but we don't get into anything seriously bad.
So it was that we were in the car when I heard my youngest son, Thom, begin to belt out songs...songs that he was making up on the fly. I wish for the life of me that I could remember them, because while the lyrics were a little risqué (risqué that is for an seven year-old), I was amazed by his ability to extemporaneously come up with lyrics that were funny, kept the tempo, and rhymed.
I guess that nut didn't fall too far from this tree. As a kid, I always made up stupid lyrics to popular songs. I'd thought I'd share with you three songs I wrote...not that I consider them the three best of my efforts. They're the only three songs that I still remember from my childhood!
So it was that we were in the car when I heard my youngest son, Thom, begin to belt out songs...songs that he was making up on the fly. I wish for the life of me that I could remember them, because while the lyrics were a little risqué (risqué that is for an seven year-old), I was amazed by his ability to extemporaneously come up with lyrics that were funny, kept the tempo, and rhymed.
I guess that nut didn't fall too far from this tree. As a kid, I always made up stupid lyrics to popular songs. I'd thought I'd share with you three songs I wrote...not that I consider them the three best of my efforts. They're the only three songs that I still remember from my childhood!
"DIARRHEA!"
Sung to the tune, "Maria"
Sung to the tune, "Maria"
"Diarrhea!I've had my first case of Diarrhea!
I drank a magical elixir,
and I've used some corn for texture...you see?
Diarrhea!
The look of it!? Just like green pea-a.
The smell of it?! Oh, mama mia!
Diarrhea...I'll never stop having Diarrhea!"
Don't like it? Perhaps you're into something more (pardon the pun) down to earth:
"SHE'S ON FIRE"
Sung to the tune of "I'm on Fire"
Sung to the tune of "I'm on Fire"
"Hey little girl, where'd your teacher go?They founder floatin' hundred feet below.
Boom-boom. She ain't goin' no higher.
Oh...she's on fire.
She went up as the first teacher in space,
now her guts are splattered all over the place.
Boom-boom. She ain't goin' no higher.
Oh...she's on fire."
Boom-boom. She ain't goin' no higher.
Oh...she's on fire.
She went up as the first teacher in space,
now her guts are splattered all over the place.
Boom-boom. She ain't goin' no higher.
Oh...she's on fire."
Then there's always one of the lamest duets ever to hit the charts:
"TO ALL THE GIRLS I'VE LOVED BEFORE"
Sung to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before"
Sung to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before"
"To all the girls I've loved before,Who've traveled in and out my door,
I wanted you to know, the doctor tests all show
I shouldn't love you any more.
To all the girls I've loved before,
whose crotches now are very sore,
it's best now that you see
the nearest dispensary
to cure you of my loves before."
Okay, so maybe it's a good thing that I ended up being a winemaker instead of a lyricist. Feel free to share with me some of your best work. Who knows? It may even end up being posted on this site.
And while you may not find lyrical inspiration, you will find funny at humor-blogs.com.
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