My Left Foot.

I have to say that I lead a fairly charmed existence. Throughout my life I've been incredibly lucky. On the whole, good things seem to come my way. And when I say, "on the whole", I mean for most of my body. The same cannot be said about my left foot. It seems to be cursed. For the last two decades I've been injury free...with the exception of damage I've incurred to my left foot.

This discrepancy in an otherwise charmed life recently came into focus - painful focus - this morning. I was walking from the kitchen to the dining room when I stubbed my fourth left toe on the leg of a chair. Here's a photo of my foot (above). You will note that the aforementioned toe is now black and blue...not to mention a bit swollen. I reckon it's broken, but what can you do? There's not much a doctor can do for a broken smaller toe except to say 'live with it'. That and, 'that will be $100, please'.

You may also notice that the nail of my big toe is just now starting to grow back. I lost this toenail on October 8th in Chicago, Illinois. My family and I were relaxing in the Admiral's Club at O'Hare, and - when I went to retrieve our bags from a closet, the heavy door came into contact with my big toe. The door won.

This is the second time I've lost this toenail in 15 years. The other time was caused by 'catching' a falling wine bottle on my toe. At least the bottle didn't break.

And two years back I broke my fibula, just above the left ankle. It broke while showing my boys "the agony of defeat" move on the ice rink of our resort in Squaw Valley. The ice won that time. I spent the evening medicated by Bourbon, and the next six weeks in a walking cast. In a cast I walked with in England, in France, in Miami, in Chicago, in Texas and California. That boot was made for walking.

I dunno. Perhaps it's kinda like The Picture of Dorian Gray. Maybe my left foot is my 'picture in the attic'? Or perhaps my left foot is my Achilles' Heal? Or perhaps it's high time I stop wearing sandals all of the time?

Well, I would start wearing more closed toed shoes, but with the condition my left toes are in, it's downright painful to wear anything but sandals.

Just call me hop-a-long.