Auto Erotica.

Last night as I sat watching Monday Night Football with my father-in-law, we happened upon the subject of cars. Guess it was all those Chevy commercials. For no particular reason I asked him, "If you could have one car - and money was no object - what would it be?" He quickly responded that he'd go with a 1956 Thunderbird. Nice choice.

He asked me for my choice, and I was honestly stumped. After giving the matter some thought, I confessed that, "I'd have to go the 'Elvis Route', and have a seven-car garage...that way I could have a different car for every day of the week."

Today just so happens to be my birthday (as well of that as my wife, Amie, and my twin sister, Jennifer), so I thought I'd share with you my choices for my top seven cars. And here they are:

#7:
1988 TOYOTA LAND CRUISER

I can't explain why, but I've always thought this model Land Cruiser was an exceptionally sharp-looking SUV. Similar in many ways to the old, 'safari' style Land Rovers, but without the penchant for being English (read: breaking down all of the time). They're also a bit more comfortable. I know...they're a bit underpowered, but, still, I like 'em.

#6:
1960 CHRYSLER IMPERIAL CONVERTIBLE

This is, to me, the epitome of American automotive excess. Enough steel and chrome from which to fashion four Japanese cars, big fins, and sixties styling. This would be my weekend driver with the family.

#5:
1954 MERCEDES-BENZ SL300 "GULLWING"

For those nights when it's just Amie and me, I'd prefer this breathtaking beauty. Everything about this car screams class. And timelessness. Of course, this would probably be Amie's pick for her daily driver.

#4:
1965 CHEVROLET CORVAIR MONZA CONVERTIBLE

See a pattern developing? Sixties? Convertible? I'll admit it...I'm a child of my generation. This would probably end up being my daily driver. Economical, stylish, easy to repair. Ralph 'unsafe in any election' Nader mistakenly identified the Corvair as 'unsafe at any speed'. Idiot. I think old Ralphie knows as much about cars as he does politics.

#3:
1985 ASTON MARTIN VOLANTE CONVERTIBLE

While the British have a notorious, historical problem with producing cars that are reliable, I do have a soft spot for British styling. This would be my go-to car when I was in a sporty, cocksure mood. Good thing for me that those moods don't happen often...because this sucker's probably going to spend more time in the shop than on the road. But it is a cool car, ain't it?

#2:
1936 CORD CONVERTIBLE COUPE

Years ahead of its time, this car was released the same year that my parents were born. Streamlined perfection.

#1:
THE BATMOBILE!

I am a child of the sixties. And, as my wife will attest, I'm still a child at heart. I fell in love with this car the first time I saw it on TV. This is the ultimate car for those seeking 'coolness factor'. I would love to surprise my boys by picking them up for school in this baby. Sadly, there are only two seats. Not very practical, I'll grant you. But it would be a great ride! And, no, I have no penchant for wearing tights and a cape behind the wheel of this car.

So that's it...my choices for the top seven cars that I'd want in my garage. Should you find yourself thinking, "I wonder what I should get Mat for his birthday?" think no more. I'd happily settle for one of these. Good thing I'm not picky, huh?

And it'd be a good thing for you to now check out humor-blogs.com.